(concurring in part; dissenting in part).
I concur in part and dissent in part. Richard has challenged the custody and economic provisions of his dissolution decree.
The focal issue is whether the trial court awarded physical care of the children to the parent who will do the better job of handling the primary responsibility of the children’s care. See In re Marriage of Ullerich, 367 N.W.2d 297, 299 (Iowa App.1985). Unfortunately, despite conducting a four-day trial, the district court gave us scant direction for the reasons he employed to reach the decision he did on the custodial issue. His one factual finding was:
The court in making this finding has considered the recommendations of the court appointed custody evaluator. It is the court’s opinion that the custody evaluation was not performed in an objective format so as to cause this court to rely on the evaluator’s conclusions and opinions.
The parties originally recognized custody would be an issue and agreed to have the court appoint as a custody evaluator Craig B. Rypma, who was specifically directed to: (1) interview the parties; (2) interview the children; (3) observe the parties with the children; (4) interview third parties; and (5) administer psychological tests. Rypma, a licensed clinical psychologist who holds an M.B.A. and a Ph.D., made’ a substantial investigation. He interviewed Richard for four hours and Susan for three. He held diagnostic play evaluations of three hours each with Richard and Susan. He did the same psychological assessment on each. He noted strengths and weaknesses of each parent and ultimately concluded:
Both of these parents are loving and caring towards their children. The observations and recommendations contained in this study are not meant to reflect opinions about their abilities and endeavors in other areas of life. Nevertheless, based on the results of this evaluation, it is the opinion of this office that the minor children’s best interests are served by primary physical care being placed with Richard Rebouche. This recommendation is based primarily on results of this evaluation, particularly Richard’s superior performance while interacting with his children as observed in the observation phase of this evaluation, on his superior empathy demonstrated during the clinical interview phase of this evaluation, and on this evaluator’s concern regarding the children’s well-being given the mother’s behavior around the domestic abuse charge and her judgment regarding the impact of her relationships on the adjustment of these minor children.
I found Rypma gained considerable insight through his evaluation.
The majority has seen fit to criticize Ryp-ma for his lack of neutrality. Rypma came to the conclusion Richard was the better custodial parent. Having come to that conclusion, I am of the opinion it was Rypma’s responsibility to advance that opinion, giving the reasons he reached the conclusion in a neutral manner. I do not give less weight to his opinion because he advanced that opinion rather than maintaining a neutral position. I also note he was chosen with the input of both sides. Both parties listed Rypma as a witness and both examined him at trial.
Susan advances the opinion of her hired expert; Steven Dawdy, Ph.D., was more credible. Dawdy was of the opinion Susan would be of more benefit to the children socially, and with her they could develop better social skills. Susan points to evidence Richard has not participated in a large number of social activities as support for her position. Dawdy was of the opinion the children needed daily contact with Susan to develop these skills. The children had been in daily contact with Susan during the marriage, yet they have social problems. Dawdy does not explain the relevance of this factor. The children were placed in Susan’s temporary physical care on July 25, 1996.
I cannot reach the majority’s conclusion that Susan’s three or more affairs during the marriage and her relationship at the time of trial, which brought her male companion to her bed and his children into her home, did not have an adverse effect on the children. The ease with which Susan slips in and out of romantic relationships raises questions in my mind as to her stability. In putting her *803immediate attention to romantic relationships following separation, she is less available to meet the children’s emotional needs.
The children have excellent academic skills, but lag socially. One child, Richard, has developed behavioral and developmental problems. He has problems interacting with other children as well as responding to others’ feelings and ideas. He is weak in social reasoning. Many of the same characteristics are present in Robert, the second child, though he is more socially outgoing than his brother. Susan’s election to bring other male figures and their children into her life and the lives of her children at a time when the children are under the stress of the divorce, decreasing the time and effort she has to be involved with her children, weigh heavily in my opinion against her claim for primary physical care.
The majority has elected to address the issue Richard raised that Susan’s use of a domestic relief petition for an improper purpose should be considered against her position on the issue of primary physical care. Susan filed a petition for dissolution in April 1996. She testified at that time she wanted Richard to leave the home, but an agreement was reached wherein the parties would share the home and custodial responsibilities for the children. On July 9,1996, Susan charged Richard with domestic assault claiming he had pushed her with his feet. The problems occurred after Richard taped a telephone conversation between himself and the girlfriend of a man from New York who Susan had a relationship with from April 1996 to September 1996. Susan subsequently filed a petition for relief from domestic assault on July 10,1996 seeking, among other things, to restrain Richard from the family home and granting her temporary custody. An order entered the same date granted the requested relief. A hearing was held. Both parties testified. A permanent order issued July 25, 1996.
The criminal charge for domestic assault that formed the basis for the petition was tried to a jury and on November 17, 1996, the jury found Richard “not guilty.”
Before trial, it was said of the domestic abuse issue:
SUSAN’S ATTORNEY: Your Honor, prior to commencement of trial, we had- a session with the Court in camera and discussed a number of issues. With respect to the question of the domestic assault, it’s our understanding that the Court has ruled that the parties will not be getting into evidence regarding that but that the Court will take judicial notice of the fact that Richard Rebouche was found guilty in a 236 hearing of domestic assault and that Richard Rebouche was acquitted in a criminal proceeding alleging assault.
THE COURT: That is correct.
I find from these statements the parties stipulated the trial court considered it a non-issue; consequently, I would treat it in the same manner on our appellate review.
The record supports a finding the reasons advanced by the court-appointed evaluator are valid. Susan’s decision to become involved in a series of relationships indicates at this critical time in the children’s lives she gives great priority to her own needs. The time and effort necessary to find and nurture outside relationships takes time and effort away from what time Susan has available to give her children. Susan has elected to give a priority to her need to establish social and romantic relationships with other men at a time her children are extremely vulnerable and need considerable individual attention from their custodial parent. The choices Susan has made in life show she does not have the available time to meet her children’s extraordinary needs at this time. Richard has put the children’s current emotional needs ahead of his own. His priority at this time is his children. These factors show him to be the better primary care giver. I would establish the same visitation for Susan as was established for Richard. I would remand to the trial court to figure Susan’s child support obligation.
Richard also challenges that portion of the decree which awarded Susan’s pension valued at $27,365 to her, and his pension valued at $19,000 to him. Susan argues there need not be an equal division, she is assuming more debt than Richard, and she is older and *804will have less chance to contribute to her pension.
This is a marriage that calls for a nearly equal division of assets. See In re Marriage of McLaughlin, 526 N.W.2d 342, 344 (Iowa App.1994). To arrive at such a result, pension benefits should be equally divided through a qualified domestic relations order. I would modify to so provide.
I agree with the majority on the other issues.
HUITINK, J., joins this partial dissent.